Today marks the last first day of my undergraduate career, assuming nothing messes up. It was also a productive day, with me unpacking after arriving in Ithaca last night, and finally applied for a CS minor. With this newfound busyness, my mind can’t really stray to be too nostalgic.
When I arrived in my room last night, a wave of nostalgia swept over me. The want for the status quo is quite strong; change seems to be bad now. The best way I can explain it is in terms of mathematics:
For the past 22 years, fortune has smiled upon me. Time after time, the dice has favored my family’s endeavors and health. I fear that the math dictates that tragedy will strike soon with the new dice roll. It seems that my grandma’s health has already started to decline. I was too young to comprehend the death of my dad’s mother, but being 22 means I will understand now.
Am I scared of this? Oh definitely. Is this fear irrational? I think so.