Category: Blarghing

It’s a day into December, and the parka has still yet to make an appearance this year. Contradictory to the optimistic “warm” weather, a year spent relatively isolated seems to be taking a toll on my well-being. I’m far less rosy than I was last year, though one would expect taking less classes would help.

The smaller things are sticking to my mind more. Little quirks in behavior in other people are bothering me more, and I feel like I’ve been more self-centered recently. Even some distasteful comments by players on Overwatch have stuck a bit, not typical of me “y u heff to be mad” mindset.

It may be the lack of sleep, or it may just be I need to find my center again. Yoga this morning really helped a lot.

I’ve been splurging on anime lately; finished Seven Deadly Sins, Attack on Titan, and currently working on Sword Art Online. This was all after finishing the pretty good Master of None on Netflix, which is decidedly NOT anime. Why did I do so?

I said this before, but animation is an undervalued art form in the general public. If a show is animated, it doesn’t mean it is for kids. Obvious examples of this is South Park and Archer. Rather animation should be viewed as a tool to express thoughts and stories in a “realistic” way.

When we view animation, we are able to suspend our knowledge of the world. This is why Archer never dies, and Homer never gets old. This serves the story in a great way; there’s nothing to sweep under the table; “toon force” takes care of everything we ask. The protagonist just killed a guy 2x bigger? Unbelievable in real life, but happens in all sorts of cartoons.

Pairing an enticing story with animation, we have anime. The ones I’ve watched all have fantasy elements in them, and I suspect I won’t like the ones where the story is based on drama and inter-character relationship. Fantasy translates well to animation. Look at Spirited Away; it’s a fantastic world brought to life which realistic CGI would destroy.

In this fantasy world, an addictive story takes place. The formula is perfected by Hollywood already; all sorts of television series uses the same techniques. But what makes anime slightly different is how consumable it seems. There’s not a lot of brains needed; it’s a lot of pathos rather than logos. Watching it is simple and fun, but yet still open enough to discuss.

Maybe this is to justify my time waste, but I thought it was fun.

The new episode of Sherlock was definitely on the Community-level meta. I enjoined it nevertheless, but there were too much Inception going on to portray a relatively simple point. Was there really a need to have that many levels of comas? We get it: Watson is critical to Holmes, and that Moriaty is actually dead.

Also ended up watching Concussion yesterday. Will Smith did a superb job acting, and put on a great performance. There were multiple monologues in the movie where his emotions can be dearly seen. The plot was predictable (it is after all, based on real events), but was told in a engaging way. There were points where the pace of the movie felt awkward, most notably the time skips.

Also, will finally end up seeing Hateful 8 tonight.

There’s a lot of feelings going on right now. I’ll try to list them out in some form of coherent statements.

I think the biggest feeling is of this sense of loneliness. This time around, there’s no Donlon to prop me up. There are no funny RAs, or great roommate/neighbors to talk to. This time it is just me. In a small room. In a city I don’t know yet.

There is comfort that quite a few people live close to me, specifically Boston. It’ll be nice to see some people again, but I still think this depression-esque feeling will weigh down on me.

I spent the part of the day not driving to and from storage just watching Netflix. It’s a great distraction, but I need to stop soon. Refocus. This is your life; there is only one.

Also, I keep on getting the sense that time marches on. Brighten is so big now, and my parents are getting older. I’m actually fine doing this, where I come back for break and see them, but I know that will end eventually. Li laoshi is right about this whole thing. The truth can’t hurt, only reveal. I will have to start talking more to my parents now, seeing that grandma is still under the spell of cancer.

There’s also this feeling of helplessness. No matter how hard I train at the gym, I can’t be two people. I can’t lug giant boxes from the storage to the car in one go. That took so much time. Dragging it to the second floor was even tougher.

I can see how people are drawn into going to school near where they live. Sure, the drama follows them, but it’s easy to shake it off. Better yet, find a close friend to move with me.

I guess I should start Tindering… but I’m still uncomfortable with my looks. Ugh.

The only productive thing I did in the day was lift, and clean the rental house for an hour. It seems oddly true that the older one gets, the more likely one will be conservative. There are just too many interactions with the people who take advantage of the social net. One happened to rent from my parents, who was eventually evicted.

Coming from a poor background, I’m surprised my dad didn’t show a bit more sympathy. At the same time, I understand why. He worked pretty hard when he got here: working restaurant jobs and cleaning jobs while studying a foreign language and engineering certification. This tenant was relying entirely on the church for the rent.

There are probably 10 hardworking persons deserving of social benefits for every leacher. There may be only 1 for each leacher. We’ll never know. But as I grow older, I’m becoming more hardened towards these people too. I’ve read too many stories of abuse of the system.

Maybe more stories should be written about the people who used food stamps to stand up again?

Also, I hate TSM :-/

Today, I finally got new glasses. They’re nothing great, but somehow still a confidence booster. The fact that they’re “trendy” right now plays into it, but it’s also that, no matter how hard I try not to, self-confidence is related to how good I look. Maybe that is why I have been working my butt off in the gym.

In an another note, Brighten really, really likes /r/theocho. He’s a physical humor kind of guy. I prefer the situational humor. Speaking of which, my spice business officially is closing down after my dad returned all the cans of laoganma during his business trip.

The V-belt.

No, not a chastity belt found on some people. It serves a more primal purpose than that: it propels a mower forward by transferring energy from the engine to the transmission.

That was my mission this morning, except it was suppose to be a chore. Sometimes when you’re pouring milk, you accidentally overfill the cup. This is what happened today.

The first (and should have been the only) destination was Home Depot. Unfortunately, our mower has an exclusive contract with Lowe’s. It’s like the whole Kenmore and Sears relationship: unnecessary, and an anachronism.

Next the digital world foiled me. Lowe’s computer indicated that my precious V-belt is in stock, but the poor attendant couldn’t find it within the mass of boxes. A particularly rude man also tried to steal my little guy away. He tried his hardest, but I just felt embarrassed for him ultimately.

My final step was the Lowe’s by the airport. By this time, I have contemplated just ordering it from Amazon. It would have saved me more in health care cost down the road. But in the end, the V-belt was there. Hallelujah.

Also, Brighten cried again today after losing a chess game. This time he left his king wide open to an attack; I’m sure he sort of understood the concept, but I once I tried to hammer it in, he broke down. Poor guy.

Life on a platter is easy.

I’ve been reading Manchester’s biography of Winston Churchill, and one thing strikes me: the ease at which he could interact with Parliament members and even royalty. It makes sense that he went on to accomplish so much, to lead the nation in its darkest hour, to become the lion that he is.

I don’t want to discredit him. He is a genius. The biography contains several examples at different stages of life. Even as a 11 year old, his mastery of language outclasses almost everyone I know. His memory is perfect, even savant level. But would he come this far without the endowment of having the most courted (married) woman in England being his mother? That his father at one point was the second most powerful man in the government?

Greatness might be churned to the top, but it does help to be near the top in the first place. I’ve come to realize that I am not too special. Yes, there are things I do well, but not in the grand scheme of things. Maybe the best thing I can do would be to foster an environment for my child at the top of the world.

Amazon’s Kindle First service delivers new books every month from up-and-coming authors. I’ve never read anything from it, until this past week. My little brother and I both finished the entire Paper Magician series in the span of two weeks.

The first book was excellent. Lovely premise of magic which can only be performed on a single material. The description of folding made me want to learn origami. As the book progressed, the climax resulted in a reveal which I think authors rely on too much: the female protagonist loves the male counterpart.

The author uses this to justify adventures later in the series. She loved him so much that she’s willing to go on incredibly foolhardy quests, but the premise was she was quite smart and rational.

Yes, this was a book for tweens. Yes, the plot (overall) was enjoyable. No, the huge focus on the love interest was not needed.